Another Season
by northling
Summary: [Fine," She set her hands to her sides. "It won't happen again." In reality, she was hurting on the inside knowing Amanda didn't want to talk about what happened. The seasoned detective wasn't exactly sure how to let her know that was more than a one night stand to her and honestly she didn't thinks she ever could] Will one night of passion leave them regretting forever? [rolivia]
1. 1

"Rollins," Olivia called as she exited her office to find Amanda and Fin as the only two detectives left in the squad room that night. Amaro had left earlier, so he could get a good night's sleep before catching the train to DC the next morning. Olivia was glad he and Maria were working it out, but that left Fin and Amanda to pick up after his work. She watched Amanda dig her head out of stacks of paperwork. Now was not the time or place to have this conversation with the blonde, but here she couldn't run away. Fin checked his watch and let out a long yawn,

He stood at the same Amanda did. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." Both women of SVU said goodbye.

Amanda turned back around to where Olivia was standing. She did not give Liv anytime to say anything as she headed back to her desk to gather her things. She knew what Olivia wanted to talk about, but it wasn't going to happen. The blonde thought they agreed not to talk about it, but apparently she was wrong. She had already jeopardized things—if not make things awkward between the two, she didn't want to say anything that would make it even worse.

"Amanda, wait a second." Benson reached her hand out to grab hold of Amanda's arm. Amanda saw the action coming and quickly pulled away.

"We _agreed_ not to talk about it." The younger woman said in a harsh whisper.

Liv sighed. "You're right, we did."

"We weren't in our normal minds, okay? What happened; happened. It's over." Amanda lied. She wasn't drunk that night, as Benson thought she was. Her goal was not to be as mean about it as she was.

"Fine," She set her hands to her sides. "It won't happen again." In reality, she was hurting on the inside knowing Amanda didn't want to talk about what happened. The seasoned detective wasn't exactly sure how to let her know that was more than a one night stand to her; and honestly, she didn't thinks she ever could.

Rollins shook her head and gathered her coat. Heading out the door, she said a quiet goodbye. Sighing as her feet hit the outside snow covered pavement, memories of that night flooded in.

They would both get over it, or so she thought.

* * *

A few days later at the precinct, Olivia and Fin was the first people to arrive at the precinct. Fin cracked a joke about being there before Olivia. They sat down at Fin's desk as they waited for everyone else to arrive, or a call.

"Liv, can I ask you a question?" Tutuola said out of the blue.

Benson looked at her long-time friend in confusion. "What is it?"

"What's going on with you and Rollins?"

Olivia's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" Fin sighed.

"Somethin' is up, and I know it. There is like this silent tension between you two."

"Fin, I don't know what—"Thankfully, Olivia was cut off by the desk phone ringing. She glanced as Fin answered it, and prayed it wasn't another case; seeing as how they were already swamped. During the call, Amanda and a few other detectives and officers entered the building. When, Fin hung about, Olivia asked what the call was about.

"Warner says she wants us to come down to the morgue, asap." Tutuola answered.

"I can go." Rollins volunteered, avoiding any possible eye contact with her boss.

Benson brushed it off and stood up. "Okay. Fin, go with. I'll see what I can get about the Daxton case from Johnson." And Olivia headed towards another group of detectives.

Fin and Amanda arrived at the coroner's office confused to find a young woman looking through a microscope. Her skin tone was a few shades lighter than Melinda and she wore a similar lab coat, so she easily fooled the two detectives at first sight. Fin looked around the office for Warner, with no luck while Amanda's eyes where scoping the unidentified woman.

"Excuse me," Fin said to the woman. She looked up at the two a confused line upon her face matching the two other bodies in the room.

She stood from her stool as she removed her gloves. Her eyes flashed between Amanda and Fin. "How may I help you?" The detective's did not get to answer as Melinda quickly emerged from the back.

Warner smiled. "I see you've met our newest addition."

Fin smirked in return. "Barely,"

"So who is this, Warner?" Amanda spoke up.

Warner placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "This is Doctor Jessica Avana. She transferred her from L.A a few days ago. "The older woman smiled. "One of the best we've got and she's just got her."

Amanda watched a light blush spread across Jessica's face. The act made Amanda smile eternally, but she quickly shook it out her head.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jessica." Fin said, sticking his hand out to the woman. She shook it in return and said a farewell to the detectives before heading back to her work. Fin noticed Amanda paying particular attention to Jessica, and made a note to tease her about it later. Turning back to Melinda, Fin cleared his throat.

"Anyway, I managed to get DNA off of your victim; whoever raped her was a lone Caucasian male." Melinda walked over to the body, of who they thought was Erin Christians. Her face was cut and bruised badly, almost to the point of no recognition.

Amanda shook her head. "Are you sure? 'Cause we've got eye witnesses that say there were three men fleeing from the scene." She knew it was wrong to doubt the M.E, but they were just as fallible as the detectives.

Fin looked at his stubborn partner. "She's just stating the facts, Amanda."

"It's possible the other two attackers wore condoms, or they didn't touch her." stated Warner. She then left the detective's to figure out the case as she went to go examine another body.

The two detectives exited the coroner's office, feeling as if they even less about the case then when they started.

"So it couldn't be her step-father then? " Amanda said aloud. Everyone in Erin's family was either Black or Latino. That did not help them very much. Her parents were devastated to hear what had happened. Erin was attending Harvard Pre-Law, and only came to New York to visit her family for the weekend. She never made it.

"Maybe someone she met at Harvard?" Fin replied taking a long sip from his coffee.

"Possibly," Amanda said quietly and they walked in silence for a while.

"I saw the way you were eyeing up the new M.E." Fin smirked. They were almost back at the precinct by this point. He was the only person in the precinct that knew she was gay, aside from Captain Cragen. She had confessed to him after the incident with Fin's son-in-law, Alejandro.

Rollins stared at him, trying to hide her own blush. "I don't know what you're talking abo, Fin."

"Yes, you do." Fin laughed. "You've got the hots for Dr. Avana."

"I do not!" The blonde groaned audibly.

Tutuola was about to respond 'yes you do.' But they reached the precinct and were immediately covered in other detectives and officers. They made their way over to their desks, only to find Benson in her office and Munch and Nick gone. The older detective sat down at his desk, and Amanda did the same. They worked on paperwork and other minor cases for a while until a lead came up. When one did, Fin decided to take it, leaving Amanda in the empty precinct, Olivia still in her office. She tried not to think of it like that, but it was kind of hard not to.

* * *

A few hours later, and she learned that Nick and Munch had headed out to Massachusetts to find out more about Erin and her professors. She and Fin took turns taking leads, so they could each get some of their building up paperwork out of the way. Olivia checked in on them a few times, to make sure things were still running smoothly. Fin noticed the lack of eye contact between the two women once more. He decided to stay out of it, that whatever was going on wasn't his business. At one point however, the younger detective was once again found herself in the squad room alone with Benson. She pushed it out her mind and stayed focused on work.

Once she had thought she found something, she quickly headed to the Sargent's office to inform her of her findings. The blonde detective knocked eagerly on the half-open office door.

"Come in." she heard Olivia say softly. She was lucky her eagerness was covering her nervousness of being in the same airspace of her boss. Olivia placed her pen down on the desk.

"What can I do for you?" Having a talk with Amanda, professional or not, was something she didn't want to do, but judging from the look on Amanda's face, this would be professional—hopefully.

"I think I have a lead on the Christians case. We traced her credit cards and found that the last thing she bought was a coffee from an Ezra Café. I talked to one of worker's there and they said they saw someone watching her, it might not be solid but it beats anything else we've got."

Olivia nodded her head, moving her eyes away from Amanda's. "You're right. Uh, you and Fin can follow up in the morning." She turned back around to her desk, prepared to hopefully go back to work without Amanda on her mind.

Amanda felt like her heart drop at the pain in Olivia's eyes. She did not think things would be _this _bad and _this _awkward. "Olivia-"

"Goodnight, detective," The older woman said sternly without turning back around.

Amanda knew she'd regret it, but she let all the words from her mind flow out anyway. "I understand you are angry, and I understand that you're hurt. But you can't possibly imagine how I'm feeling about all of this. If I could take back what happened that night, I would, but it's that simple Liv. I'm not enjoying the awkwardness between us. We both need to grow up and get over this—"

Before either detective were able to comprehend what happened, Olivia had Amanda pinned between her body and the desk. She mended their lips today. The brunette let all the desire and frustration from the past week pour out in that moment. She was so caught up in her craving for the athletic woman in front of her, that she barely noticed Amanda kissing her back. Benson's fingers found themselves in a tangled mesh of blonde hair, whilst she felt Amanda's strong grip on her hips. It was rough kiss that left both parties trying to catching breaths of air when it broke apart.

"You talk too much." Olivia stated half flatly, her heart pounding in her chest. She gave Amanda no time to answer as she quickly pressed their lips back together.

* * *

**Should I continue? I apologize for any mistakes. English isn't my mother tongue. **


	2. 2

**A lonely Czech girl like me owns nothing aside from my OCs.**

* * *

It happened again.

The one thing she _swore_ never to happen again; happened again—several times throughout the night. She vividly remembered the younger woman's teeth grazing across her bare neck, most definitely leaving some type of mark. She was aware of her own hand drifting towards her neck in curiosity. It was barely 9 am, and she sat on the right side of her bed, watching Amanda sleep. With the mid-November sun peeking through sheer curtains, it created a false image of what could have possibly been a perfect relationship. But since Amanda didn't want that, Olivia was not going to push it and make matters even worse. Olivia looked over at the woman once more. What the hell were they doing? Olivia knew they had to stop this, because them working together during the day, and sleeping with each other at night was _not _going to work. Plus, she couldn't deny that Amanda had her questioning things she normally wouldn't be.

Shaking her head the situation, she stood up out of her bed to find her clothes scattered across her bedroom floor.

After taking a much needed shower to clear her head, she dressed and returned to her bedroom to find Amanda awake. The young blonde was standing with her back facing Olivia, unaware of the other woman's presence. She needed to get out of her, _fast. _Olivia quietly set her towel down without moving her eyes off the younger woman. She had a clear view of Amanda's toned braless back from where she was positioned while the younger woman was pulling up her pants. With no warning what-so-ever, Amanda turned around to look for her shirt. She jumped at the sight of Olivia.

"Jesus Christ, Olivia. You tryin' give me a heart attack?" Amanda asked.

"No," She sighed and watched Amanda go back to getting dressed. "Amanda, we need to talk."

The young blonde detective laughed. "Talk? We need to talk?" Her expression grew serious, but she kept a emotionless smile on her face. "Ain't nothing to talk about." Her accent became more and more prominent with every syllable.

"Yes, there is. We can't keep doing this-whatever _this _even is!" Benson yelled, angry that Amanda saw nothing wrong here.

Rollins ran a hand down her face. "I-I don't know what you want me say, Liv. This isn't exactly a walk in the park for me either." Olivia stared at her co-worker in confusion. What did she mean by that?

"What do you mean?"

Amanda just shook her head and looked down, suddenly becoming more interested in the floorboards than Olivia at the moment. Without glancing at Olivia, she grabbed her jacket from off the bed. "I should go."

Her chance was slipping away, but there was nothing she could to stop it. Olivia just needed one more answer. She jumped up to reach Amanda at her front door. Placing her hand on the younger woman's arm, she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"What does this mean for us?"

Amanda bit her lip. "I don't know. I'll see you later, Olivia."

And with that, she was gone.

* * *

"Woah, what the hell happened to you?" Alex Cabot asked nearly choking on her coffee in quiet laugher later on that morning.

Olivia slipped her shades off her face and sat down in the booth across from her friend. "What do you mean?"

"Olivia, you look like you got no sleep last night, there are 2 hickeys on your neck and on top of that, since when do you call me at noon to have coffee?" The blonde ADA replied still laughing.

Benson groaned and placed her head in her arms. "I need help."

Cabot's eyes widened. "If you murdered Amaro for screwing up your coffee, I can't help you get rid of the body."

Olivia swatted her puerile friend on the arm. "Alex, I'm being serious here!"

"Ouch! Okay, okay. Fine," Alex rubbed her forearm frowning slightly. "What could you possibly want from me?"

"I might have a problem." Olivia looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Are you gonna play hard to get or should I ask?" She took a long sip from her coffee, waiting for Liv's answer.

The brunette detective sighed. Was she really gonna go through with this? "I slept with Rollins, twice."

"You did what?!" Alexandra said, her ears not believing what she just obviously heard. She never pegged Rollins as gay, or bisexual.

"You might want to close your mouth, Cabot. You'll catch flies." Benson muttered.

* * *

"So we got nothing." Amanda said to no one in particular, spinning in her chair and tapping her pen against her chin. They all knew this case was a loss from the start.

Fin snorted. "We started with nothing." He gave up looking for any clues in Erin's case file.

"It could be one of her professers," The blonde said quietly. Her partner shook his head in return, a logic disagreement already flowing out his mouth.

"She was a teacher's pet, straight a's. No one had any problem with her. This could just be a random attack."

"These bruises on her body say otherwise." Amanda was already done with this case. It was getting nowhere. She was not giving up, just out of options at the moment. She got ready to shoot another option at Fin when Olivia finally entered the precinct.

"Look who decided to show up for work." Fin laughed. Olivia sent his a quick death glare, not until after she looked at Rollins for any signs of normalcy. The blonde detective buried her head in her files.

This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

"Why don't you just ask her out already?" Fin laughed as he exited the M.E's office for the second time that week with Melinda had recovered more evidence, which meant more time in the morgue, which for Amanda, meant more time to stare at Doctor Avana.

Rollins turned to her partner. "Ask who out?"

"Avana," Tutuola shook his head at his partner's obliviousness. "Every time we go to the morgue, you're always making eyes at her, as if she even notices you." The older man laughed for the third time that day.

The blonde detective smacked him lightly on the shoulder as they entered the Crown Vic. She buckled her seatbelt, thinking of a retort as Fin started the car.

"She's not my type, and even if she was, she's looks straighter than an arrow." Amanda chuckled to herself at the thought. She was not going to let Fin win this.

"Yeah. 'Not my type' my ass." He pulled out of the parking space. "Plus, that's not what I heard, about her sexuality, at least."

Now, Amanda was really confused. "Where'd you hear otherwise?"

Fin cleared his throat awkwardly, which was unusual for the older detective. "Melinda,"

"Huh, still, not my type of gal." Amanda answered. She leaned back in her seat. Fin meddling around was a nice touch to her day, but not what she needed. She still could not get her and Olivia's problem off her mind, nevertheless Jessica Avana.

"Melinda thinks otherwise. If we're seeing your obsession, it won't take long for Avana to notice." Fin replied a smirk on his face.

"You seem to be spending a lot of time with Melinda, am I wrong?" Amanda smiled with victory, as she watch the smirk on Fin's face slowly fade.

"Whatever, kid."

**A/N. More of a little filler than any actual action. But don't worry, that's coming up soon. So, will Amanda make a move with Jessica, or finish what she started with Olivia?**


	3. 3

Olivia Benson was not an idiot.

Sure, she was a hopeless romantic and somewhat lacking in judgment, but she was not an idiot. She knew an attraction when she saw one. Meaning, when Doctor Avana came to the squad room to deliver a file for Melinda, since the ME's office _and _Sex Crimes were backed up, and Amanda's eye wouldn't leave the olive-skinned woman's body, a jealousy stirred deep within Benson. She knew she was being childish. She and Amanda were done. No more one night stands and very little contact throughout the work days.

So why was there jealousy stirring inside of her? If Amanda had an interest in Jessica, why was it any of her business? Olivia figured she was just overreacting, and that Amanda would be the least of concerns to her soon.

Meanwhile, Amanda was trying to calculate this plan in her head. Olivia had been persistent in the blonde's thoughts, despite them barely speaking. Last night, Amanda had a very vivid dream about her boss. You could say she had an itch for the seasoned detective. She missed the only true benefit of their one night stands. So she needed a distraction.

"Hey, Rollins." Amaro said, as he hung up the phone, pulling Amanda out of her train of thought.

"What's up?" She answered.

"We got a 1-3 on the Upper West side. Wanna take it with me?" He replied in his thick Brooklyn accent.

Amanda looked around the squad room briefly. Fin entered the squad room, a suspect in tow. Benson was in her office, where she spent most of her time these days.

"Sure." Amanda stood up and grabbed her coat off the back of her chair. Nick and Amanda were getting ready to get on the elevator, when no one other than ADA Alexandra Cabot stepped out. She smiled towards the two detectives, more at Nick than Amanda.

"Good evening, counselor." Nick said.

"Detectives," Alexandra nodded, and then headed towards the squad room.

Olivia heard her closest friend before she actually saw her. Two inch black heels across wooden floors in a practically deserted precinct were not exactly sounds you could ignore. The brunette decided to give up on her over growing stack of paperwork for now. She stood and headed towards her office door to greet her friend.

"Hello, Olivia." Cabot smiled. She tightly hugged Olivia

Olivia laughed as she pulled away. "You look like you're in good spirits." Alex was dressed in a simple pants suit and heels, nothing that gave anyway any good news.

"I am." The blonde's 100 watt smile seemed to boost by another 50 watts, if even possible.

"Oooo," Benson sat down on the couch, and Alex followed. "Something I should know about?"

"Nope, I came here to talk about you, not me."

Liv groaned. "Why must we discuss me?"

"Because, your girlfriend is confused and you won't admit you love her."

Olivia's eyebrow's furrowed in confusion. "Are we talking about Ama—Rollins?" She quickly corrected herself.

"Yes, silly. Who else?"

"She's not my girlfriend, Alex."

Alexandra rolled her eyes. "Sure she isn't, but-"

"Alex, don't." Olivia warned, rolling her eyes as well

"Don't what?" The attorney said in challenge. "You love her and you know it."

"What makes you say that?"

Alex stood up, straightening out her black skirt. "I see the way she looks at you, and the way you look at her. I don't know why you won't go after something that makes you happy."

Liv sighed. Cabot had a point. "She doesn't want it that way, and quite frankly I don't know if I do too."

"In other news, guess who's the new DA?" Alex beamed brightly.

Olivia's brown eyes widened. "No way."

"I could not believe it either! McCoy said since I did such a amazing job with the Daxton case that I deserve this."

* * *

Amanda's hands knocked against the large mahogany doors of the Christians' home. There was a small shine to the right of the door filled with teddy bears, flowers, candles and some pictures of Erin. She and Fin both frowned at the sight. After about 5 minutes of silence, and no one coming to the door, Amanda knocked a bit harder. This time, the door pushed open. The blonde detective looked over to Fin, who was wearing the same confused expression as she was.

They both reached for their guns on instinct. Tutuola walked in front of Amanda. The first thing he say was Erin's mother on the blood red stained carpet in front of them. There was a bullet hole right between her eyes. Amanda turned away and headed towards the staircase, her heart pounding in her chest. Fin went into the kitchen.

Old stairs creaked in protest as Rollins made her way up. She briefly looked in the bathroom, finding no signs of distress. She opened one of the smaller bedroom door. She wished she had not. There was a young child, no older than 6, laying on the floor. The yellow wallpaper behind him sprayed with blood. Was it Erin's killer who did this? She didn't have time to think it through as she heard crying.

Slowly, Amanda made her way towards the source of the sound, the closet. Hands shaking, she opened the door. A girl sat on the dusty floor. She recognized the child as Erin's little sister, Mika. She was with Erin's mother when they pronounced her dead.

"Are you okay?" Amanda asked quietly, returning her gun to it's holster.

Mika nodded. She used her already soaked sleeve to wipe the tears off her face.

Amanda was getting ready to help Mika out of the closet, but then she remembered there was the rest of the house to check. Plus her brother's dead body lied nearly 4ft from them. "Stay here."

Amanda swiftly exited the children's bedroom, making a note to close the door back. She entered another bedroom. This was must of been a study. There was a desk filled with papers and notes. But the rest of the room was trashed. The rocking chair in the corner was turned over, and diplomas that once took up place on the walls were shattered and ripped on the floor.

The detective moved to go back downstairs and tell Fin the house was clear, but before she could, someone pushed her down onto the floor.

She had no time to react. She felt her arms and hands being cut by the shards of glass on the floor. A hand pulled her by her shoulder so she was on her back.

Amanda didn't recognize him. Was this Erin's rapist and the murderer of her family?

The man got on top of her, pinning her body down and stopping her from fighting. He had dark green eyes that told more stories than Amanda's needed. He let out a wicked laugh that sent chills down the detective's spine.

"Stupid cops." He laughed once more. "You think you can stop me?" He roughly grabbed Amanda's face. Amanda stuggled and fought against him, but there was no use. He had 60 pounds on her easy.

"Answer me! You think you can stop me?" Amanda felt his free hand trail down her abdomen to the crotch of her jeans.

She pushed her body up as far as she could and slipped her leg through. Before he knew what happened, Amanda had kicked him in his manhood. He let out a frustrated scream and fell to the ground. Amanda kicked him once more and went to retrieve her gun which had landed near the over tossed bookshelf.

Fin appeared in the door way moments later to find Amanda placing their now prime suspect in handcuffs and reading him his rights.

"I'm callin' a bus." He stated.

Amanda shook her head. "He's fine."

"Not for him, for you."

Rollins nodded, too drained to argue with him at the moment.

* * *

**sorry i couldn't get this up sooner, I recently moved to Germany for school and let me tell you, moving to another country is something else. I know the language, and all but it's a really creativity-draining thing to do. ****But on the upside, my apartment and I are all settled, so this story shall be updated more regularly. And for the reviewer who was surprised English is not my mother tongue, I get that a lot. (czech is my first language)**


	4. 4

**long overdue but here it is!**

* * *

Olivia arrived at what was once the Christians' home, now a crime scene, to find two ambulances, and nearly 5 squad cars. She had not been filled in on the details of what went down. Only a brief text message from Fin explaining she needed to get down here. The first thing she recognized was Amanda sitting by one of the ambulances holding a gauze to her arm.

Benson swallowed the lump in her throat and walked over to the blood detective. "You okay?", motioning to her arm.

Amanda was confused. Olivia hadn't spoken more than 10 words to her in the past few days. "I'm fine."

"Amanda, I want to apologize-"

"It's okay, Olivia. Really, it is."

"No it's not." Olivia shook her head in denial at the younger woman.

"I'm a big kid. I'll live." Their conversation was fulling interrupted by one of the ambulance technicians coming over with fresh gauze for Amanda. Olivia shoved her hands into her pockets and walked away. There was no winning with Amanda.

* * *

Later on that evening, Amanda had stayed at the precinct, unlike everyone else, and finished up some of her long overdue paperwork. Around 10 in the evening, she looked up and could swear there wasn't even a dent in that pile. She groaned. Leaning her head back against her chair, she looked to the not-so-fresh gauze wrapped around her forearms. They definitely needed changing. She looked at the clock once more before standing. If Rollins was lucky, Melinda would be able to change and clean these for her.

10 minutes later, Amanda arrived at the coroner's office was a cup of coffee in her hand (a payment to Melinda if she was able to change the bandages).

The office looked empty so she figured Melinda had left. However, instead of Warner, the detective found someone possibly better.

"Hey." Amanda said softly.

Jessica raised her head from her own stack of work. "Detective," She smiled and cleared her throat. "If you're looking for Doctor Warner, she left hours ago."

Amanda chuckled. "Yeah, I was. These bandages need changing and I was going to bribe her with coffee."

"I can change them for you, but I get the coffee." Avana stood from her stool and headed to a cabinet behind them.

"Deal." When Jessica returned with the bandages, Amanda handed her the coffee. Now at a closer proximity, Amanda noticed a scar on Jessica's cheek.

"What happened there?" The blonde questioned as the doctor swabbed Amanda's cuts.

The raven-haired woman laughed. "Just a small accident." Seeing the look of disbelief in Amanda's eyes, she continued. "I now know that knifes should be held away from my face at all times."

Amanda smirked. "I feel like you should have already known that, Doctor."

"There's nothing wrong with me being a little naive for a moment." Jess cut the end of the bandages. Looking up to Amanda, she smiled. "Yours are worse, though."

Rollins knew what she was about to do was wrong, but what did she have to lose?

* * *

"You're late." Fin said with a smirk as Amanda rushed it, an hour late. Her hair was a every, her shirt had a few buttons undone, and ultimately she looked like a hot mess. Fin turned the page of his newspaper as he looked to his partner.

"I know, I know." Amanda glanced around the precinct. It seemed like everyone was too busy to notice her lateness. "What have we got today?" She ran a hand threw her hair, her brain becoming over turn with the recent stressful events.

Fin shuffled a few papers around on his desk. He had a few predictions on where the blonde had been, he just did not have enough grounds to say with who. "The guy we found in Erin's house the other day, his name is Laurent Westinghouse, goes by LW. Some hot-shot street kid. He's 22, runs with BX9. Liv wanted to let his sleep off whatever drug his on for the night."

Amanda opened her laptop, already not liking her day. "Who's questioning him?"

Fin set down his pen. "You are. Benson said to wait for her to arrive. She wanted to chaperon."

At the mention of Olivia's name, Amanda jerked her head up. "Benson?"

"Yeah. We are waiting for Avana to get back with the autopsy for the two bodies. Melinda took a few weeks of absence." Just as the words left Fin's mouth, Olivia walked in.

She headed straight for her office after saying brief hello's to her detectives. Once she exited the office she looked to Amanda. The look of anxiety was clear on her face. It was unsure whether or not it was from the chance to catch a rapist, or if it from being in the same room with Amanda for however long it took to get a confession.

"Rollins." Olivia said lightly. Amanda had tried so hard to grasp the attention of her boss. The odds were most definitely working against her. The blonde woman stood, making a silent note to get back at Fin later for smiling at her obvious discomfort. She followed the brunette into the back hallway where the interrogation rooms were.

In the first one, LW was pacing back and forth. Olivia looked towards Amanda before either of them entered.

"Um, how are your arms?" She asked, hoping to break the tension.

"They're fine." Amanda bit back harshly.

Benson sighed. There would be no fixing what was going on between them anytime soon.

Upon entering the interrogation room, LW looked up to them, a devious smirk on his face that turned Olivia's stomach upside down.

"Laurent, we've heard some interesting things about you and your whereabouts over the past few days." Amanda sat down in one of chairs, Olivia chose to stand by the door, staring at their suspect hoping to intimidate him.

He slammed his hand down on the table. "Don't call me that! My name is LW. Everyone calls me that!"

Amanda didn't even flinch. Out of all things, some skinny kid wasn't going to scare her. "LW, you can cooperate with us, and get an easy sentance, or you can make our jobs harder and get 20 to life. Your choice. Did you kill those two in the house?"

Laurent just continued pacing back and forth, as if Amanda and Olivia weren't even there.

Rollins tried again. "Did you rape Erin Christians? Did you beat her? Leave her on the sidewalk naked?" He started laughing.

Stopping his pacing, he placed both hands on the table getting close to Amanda's face. "What I did to her," He paused letting out a chuckle. "You could only dream about me doing to you."

A moment of disgust ran past Amanda's ice stone face, and Laurent picked up on it. "Aww, you know about it? What happened to you? Did your dad touch you? He sneak into your room at night?"

Feeling the protectiveness coming over, Olivia pushed LW off of Amanda.

"Did you rape Erin Christians?" The brunette felt fire run through her at the thought of that piece of shit being that close to Amanda. "Did you?" She asked again.

He laughed. This whole thing was a joke to him. "Yeah. I killed her little bitch family too."

Happy with getting a confession, Olivia exited the interrogation room. Amanda was right behind her, not happy with Olivia display.

She pulled the brunette by her arm into the cribs, not caring at all if anyone saw her. "What the hell was that?" The blonde woman asked, slamming the door behind her.

Olivia was entirely confused. "What was what?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "I would've gotten that confession easily on my own. I don't need you pulling back a suspect right when he's about to pop! I've got this."

"Oh what? So I'm just going to let him sit there and taunt you?"

"I don't need your protection!" They both knew this argument was about more an interrogation. It was about those numerous nights between them.

Olivia shook her head. "You're pathetic, you know what?" She headed for the exit, walking past Amanda. "I can't believe for a second I thought..."

Amanda placed a hand on her shoulder, pushing her back. "Thought what?" She said harshly.

"That I loved you." With that, she left the cribs, leaving Amanda to herself.


	5. 5

_That I loved you._

It kept her distracted for a while, believe that. It might have even had her back-tracking everything between them for a few days. But Jessica was an even bigger distraction.

It was somewhat a repetition of what happened between her and Olivia, and Amanda hated herself for it. She hated lying to herself about how she felt for Olivia, and she hated herself even more for doing the same to Jessica.

_This is the last time we do this_

Every time either she or Jessica said, they both knew it was a lie. They found their way back to each within no time. A comparison between her feelings for Olivia, and whatever was happening with her and the new ME, showed major differences.

Amanda _loved _Olivia. She however did not love Jessica. For Amanda, it was hard coming to terms with this. It had nothing to do with Jessica - she had done nothing wrong, quite the opposite. Honestly, Amanda was distraught and she had no idea how to fix the problems. There was only one person Amanda knew she could go to. Someone who would infinitely have the answers she needed. She sat at a table by herself, worried. Bouncing her legs, she looked outside again for the 9th time that minute.

Amanda made sure to chose a coffee shop a far distance away from the ME's office AND the precinct, keeping the chances of running into either of her "problems" very slim. The old round table she sat at held two coffee's - one for her and one for her consultant.

Just as she was about to call and make sue their plans were still on, he slipped into the seat in front of her.

"Any reason you made me haul my ass to this stuck up coffee shop at 9am on my _one _day off this week." Fin said, good-heartedly with a smile on his face. As always.

Amanda smiled. "Sorry." She slid one of coffee's to him

"Don't be." Taking a sip of the coffee, he looked at her. "What's up?"

"Um," The younger detective had no idea where to start. "I have a problem that I don't know how to fix."

He looked at her concerned. "You aren't gambling again are you."

She shook her head. "No. It's not that. I kind of sleep with both Olivia and the new ME."

Fin's expression said nothing, something else that was always usual for him. "Who first?"

"Olivia twice, and Jessica 3 times. In that order." She felt utterly ashamed at herself.

"Want to explain to me how that managed to happen?" Fin wasn't going to express his opinions. He learned from past situations that solved absolutely nothing. So, Amanda spent the next 10 minutes explaining what had been going on the past few weeks. At the end of it, she realized how much shit she had to fix. And none of it would be easy. Not at all.

"Why don't you just break it off with both of them? Eventually you'd fix what happened between you and the Sargent, but Avana is only substituting for Melinda for a while." It was the most simplest solution he could come up with.

"Olivia said she loved me." Amanda looked towards Fin. An employee of the cafe came over with a refill of their coffee.

"Oh, I see." On the inside, Fin was smiling. For two reasons: 1. he was happy to hear that Olivia was trusting her heart to someone again after numerous people had broken it. 2. Melinda now owed him 20 dollars. Alex owed him 50.

The three had known something was going on between the other three women. Alex swore that Amanda would be the one to cave into Olivia, and Melinda said that Amanda would eventually end up being with Jessica. Both were wrong. So now they had to pay the piper.

"Do _you_ love _her?" _He asked.

Sighing, Amanda ran her fingers through her hair. "It's - complicated." Amanda couldn't possibly think of loving anyone. Anyone she merely thought of loving, always stabbed her in her back. She _loved _her sister. Once, long before she came and ruined everything. She _loved _someone back in Atlanta only to find out they hadn't cared about her at all. She might have even loved her mother. _Might _have.

* * *

_You're an idiot. You know that right?, _she thought to herself.

Why did she have to tell her she loved her? How would that fix anything? Sitting inside her apartment the following night, Olivia Benson opened her freshly purchased red wine bottle. Amanda had taken a personal day, and Olivia knew exactly why. It was quite obvious that Amanda did _not _love her. At this stage in her life, Olivia was convinced that no one could love her.

Haden fucked her over. Cassidy was a one time mistake that came back for round two. Elliot fucked her over also.

She could not possibly say that Amanda fucked her over as well. She _understood _what Amanda was doing; protecting both their careers. But imagining this blowing up in their faces if they didn't figure it out sooner or later, that made Olivia wonder if it was worth it.

Eventually, the entire precinct would figure it - and that would do neither of them good. Their screaming match in the cribs yesterday got the attention of Amaro - who oh-so-concernedly wanted to know what was going on with Amanda. He may or may-not have asked if she was gambling again, and Olivia quickly shut him down immediately going to the blonde's defense without a second of hesitation.

Just as she was about to take of sip of her wine and finish reading the book she had meant to start months ago, a knock at her door pulled her off her couch.

Sighing, Olivia didn't bother looking through the peephole in her apartment door, unlocking the numerous chains on the door.

She felt the wind knocked out of her, her face losing it's features of stone. The brunette fixed that, re-hardening her face hoping to intimidate the person on the other side.

"Amanda."

"I think we need to talk."

Olivia scoffed. "You are the last person I want to talk to. And I kinda got the sense _you _weren't interested in talking to me either?" Amanda stood on the other side, her hands shoved into the front pockets of her jeans - this was the most casual Olivia had ever seen her. Truth be honest, she would have kissed Amanda right there if there hadn't been an obvious elephant in the room.

The Georgian detective looked down, suddenly fascinated by her shoes. "Olivia, I realize that you don't want to talk to me, but we need to figure this out sooner or later. And I'd prefer it to be sooner."

Benson didn't even blink. "Or you could go back to screwing the ME." She stared hard at Amanda. "Since that seems to be a very good solution in your head."

Amanda's head shot up. "Who the hell told you about that?"

"You just did. I had my...suspicions." Olivia knew she was being harsh, she could tell the blonde was genuinely trying to fix things.

"Liv, I want to fix this. Please."

Sighing, the brunette opened her apartment door, letting the blonde inside. "You have two minutes. Start."

* * *

**look I actually updated _on time _**


End file.
